Recently

So recently you've been txting me, and talking to me again, i like it :), but my friends don't. They think i should just ignore you because it'll help. I'm over you now, but i still love you in a way that's hard to describe. I still wish i could see you and give you a hug, wouldn't mean anything, just a hug. I know that i was being a prick before, but i'm trying not to now, it's just sorta awkward, there's a few things that i want to tell you as well, but i don't think that it's that good of a idea. Anyway, nothing interesting's happening. Kswt. Cya

Today.

So today after school, me and a couple of my friends went down to the river bank.
And i pulled out letters and photos, of me and my ex, we burnt them. ATM i feel sorta down, but that tends to happen at night, i feel bad about the photo's considering the money she spent on them, but i know that that doesn't hide the fact of what she did. She told me last night that she'd moved on, i myself am nearly there, but being with her for over 15 months, it makes it kind of hard. I wish i could just get over her, but it isn't that simple, people say 'oh, she wasn't that great' or 'oh she treated you bad' i know she did but it doesn't hide the fact that up intill a few months ago she made me feel AMAZING about who i was, made me feel loved considering everything else that's happened in my life to this point, i should probably shrug it off, but yeah, it's hard. I've only told a few people including her of exactly how i feel towards her, and now i'm about to tell everyone, i still love her (as of 11 p.m 8/7/11) despite the fact of what she's done.
I think the one thing that's really stopping me from moving on is myself, i'm not quite sure in my heart of what i want, if i had the chance, i'd take her back in a heart beat, i thought that she was the most beautiful thing in the world, she meant the world to me until it all came crashing down.
1 think i really don't wish on her is i don't want her to ever feel the way that i feel. Maybe one day we'll rebuild our bond, but until that day, i'm just trying to erase her. 1 thing i know will never be erased is my memories, the times went spent together, the best memory i have of us that i'll always want to hold on to is that we both fell asleep holding each others hands, kissing her as fireworks were errupting (don't know how to spell that) and last but not least was sitting on the swing chair we have out the back talking about our future together. I cannot stress this enough, but i loved her so so so much. But yeah, i hope that i'll be able to find someone like her again, just without the fact of how bad she treated me. I hope that my next girlfriend will respect me as much as i respect her, i want a girl  that'll just relax and fall asleep in my arms, make me feel like her protector and i want her to feel that while she's in my arms nothing will ever hurt her, but we can all have dreams, some bigger than others, hopefully those dreams will come true.
Saying this in advance of her I love you Baby xoxo :D

Now you go offline as i grow the confindence to talk to you :@

. . .

So you just updated your status, no biggie. But the fact that i wish it was me your were updating it about. Even worse, sometimes i think hey F**k you, but other times it's like ' My Arm's are empty without you in them, Come Back ' but then again, it's not a healthy thing for me to keep worrying about you, and thinking about you so much, i need to move. Badly, it's hard, i want to talk to you, SO BADLY!!

The Day That Goes by The Name of Tuesday

Start off my day by blasting the good ol' eardrums with some Skrillex, it's so loud that everyone else can hear it, but idc. Get to school, nothing special really going on, but near the end of 5th period i felt like crying :/ nearly did to be perfectly honest, worst thing is your online now but i know you want your space so i'm just gonna fight the urge to say hi ...
I think everything's better we dont talk ... I like it that way :D

Nothing really special happened today. But i will leave you with this.

The Stupid Day's Of School

First of all i wake up, tired as heck. Drag myself to the bus stop, get on the bus and make my way to school, rock on up to school and i wait for allana to turn up, she doesn't, and i look like a dick waiting for her (shot lana). Okay so after that was 1st period, nothing special. Form class (verticle) nothing special there either. 2nd period, ah ... was in the library, so nothing really much happend there. Interval ... so to cut a long story short, nothing special happened D:
Got home at 3:30 ish and turned on the t.v, watched prince of persia sands of time. Then got ready for my basketball training, my friend asked me if i was going to play league this year, and i thought, ah ... no i'm not fit enough, i then realised at basketball training that  i am actually quite fit ... :L
So i think, yeah, i'm gonna go to rugby league trials, (the school i'm at has won the Wellington competition 3 years in a row) So hmmm .... i think i shall. :D
I like the sound of that, getting a trophy :D and a medal ...
So i think that was the highlight of my day :) I think that i'm going to show everyone up and in my first year of playing college rugby, make the rugby league team.
So far i haven't had any thoughts of her .. and i hope to keep it that way :D
Anyway, stay fresh ae :P

Bored

The day i get over you the day my life turns into a positive thing :D

Amazing Adventures Of Today.

So my day today started at ... 8:30, ish. Woke up to a whole bunch of boringness, I waited for my mate, she took ages to get ready (I swear she really likes to be awkward) anyway, after waiting for about 3 hours for her, i went and met her, we walked back to my house and did some more waiting (SOOOOOO MUCH FUN!) watched the matrix, she curled up on my couch, (oh how i really honestly wish i could've sat behind her and hugged her, i miss sitting on a couch hugging someone) Anyway, after nearly finishing the matrix we decided to leave for the bus stop (3min walk from my house, if you walk fast). Anyway, got on the bus to go to the movies (again wanting to be able to put my arms around her) we got to the mall where the cinema is located. As soon as i walked in i saw a friend, i think the skuxx was with his new girlfriend, i think he thought she was my gf (I wish ._.) went up and thought, hmmmmm ... i feel like some BK, turned out the line was to long :(, so after wasting my time there we decided it was time to go get tickets, walked to the cinema to get tickets, hardly saying a word to eachother, i just smiled alot. That line was LONG!!!!!!!!!!. After waiting and waitng and waiting, we got to the counter, asked for 2 tickets next to eachother, Oh yeah, we went and saw Transformers 3 Digital 3D. Anyway, continuing on, we paid seperatly, then went to the warehouse, (like target, k-mart, wall-mart) got some lollies, then went and found a seat and sat down. The whole time we were sitting there she was playing on her phone (it wasn't a date, so idm really). Ah with about 10 mins left we went back to the cinema and went off towards the thearter, i decided i wanted some pop-corn, rolled on up, and guess what ....................................................... <- Space for you to answer, The realy answer is, the eftpos machine ran out of paper, so i waited for about 5 mins while they went to fetch somemore, gave up cause it took so long, and just my luck, as i walked off she came back with more paper. We went through, seats taken so had to sit somewhere else, sat down and watched the movie, whole time wishing i could hold her hand, or kiss her on the cheek, or just look into her eyes, but ...... meh.
So that was my adventure for the day, not much, but enough

Yesterday

So yesterday, went for a shop 'wow so exciting' well actually, YES!
I went to the local sports store before my rugby game 'yup i play number 4, for my school's 2XV' anyways, went to the sports store, spent over $100 on two things, those two things were headgear, and ... skins :D Begged my nan, (me and my (oldest younger of 4) brother live with her, mum left us 2 years ago to move to Australia) to buiy me them, got proper one's too, not stupid bike shorts, those cost $80 i think, I love you nan, anyway, so after that i went and played my rugby game, we got hammered, but we also hadn't had training in over 2 weeks. Anyways, we lost, then she said to us ' whata you want for lunch' being the healthy keint i am, i got subway, GOD was that good, it tickled my taste buds :D. After getting my healthy subway, we rode on home in her car, had lunch laxed out for the rest of the day.
So ... what's the point in that you may ask? well, if you just wait a moment i'll get to the sad bit in my story ...
Anyway, i was on facebook, doing some stalking, and i noticed a picture of my ex ........... (we broke up about 1 month ago, and it's hard to get over her) in me saying that you're probably like 'Mate, grow some nuts' i try i do, but in being together for over a year, it's super hard to get my mind off of her. ..
Anyway, in noticing the picture i felt sad because i miss her, ALOT!!!!!!!!! people say that someone means the world to them, But i meant that, and i still do, even though i'm angry at what she did i would never want anything bad to happen to her :D cause i'm a top keint like that. Most couples, when they break up, end up hating eachother, but i can't possibly hate her, she did something bad, but i sortof, well not really, but i like to think that i've forgiven her ...
Anyway guys, i think that's enough for 1 day, In lil ol' god zone, (New Zealand) it is 10a.m Sunday morning, and imust say, it is F-ing cold. Also i'd like to just point out NEW ZEALAND IS NO WAY AND NEVER WILL BE A PERT OF AUSTRALIA.
CYA!

First blog

So, this is to be my first proper blog, ah ...
Tbh i dont care if anyone reads it or not, i'm just gonna rant about everything that's going on on this.